GREETINGS MORTAL- I mean other fellow breathing organisms! I am the somewhat proud owner of this useless hunk of data, you call a website, Beau :] (Pronounced as "bo". I feel the need to say this because I've had many people mispronounce my name for months until we called ;o;) My flesh body is currently 16 (February 6th, in case you want to send me rats for my birthday :3) and I live somewhere in the Not Really United States of America (In case you're wondering why I talk about daylight savings)
What do people talk about on their about pages? o3o I like to show what I enjoy in their own little dedicated shrines and worlds, so talking solely about myself w/o either coming off super egotistical or like a total downer is kinda hard..
Although I usually dislike labels, I dislike the idea of being something to be ashamed of or hidden more. I'm what would be called "transgender" although I have very complicated feelings about gender as a whole in our society. I view myself as someone being everything and nothing all at once, and view my identity as being more of a "computer" or digital entity that is just observing. But if I must abide by human rules, I'd say I'm genderless leaning towards being man. I often refer to myself as a "female man" since being female is something I take pride in.
My romantics howver.. *nervously side eyes my yume shrine*
I guess I should talk about what lead me to making this site and my feelings towards the internet as a whole. Ever since I was young I've been homeschooled and always sat next to my mom on the family computer whilst she played EverQuest. According to her I learned how to play video games before I learned how to properly write, and a funny thing is that I wouldn't even say video games helped me with words! I used to furiously skip all the dialogue and get confused and then hand the controller to my mom, who was equally just as confused to what I was meant to be doing.
My mom and I are quite similar in terms of interests. My mom heavily used Geocities in its prime and was involved in numerous BBSes, so when I told her about my own personal website we spent hours going thru all her old sites. Shes currently making her own Neocities, and shes cooler then all of you!! As dorky as it sounds, my mom truly is my best friend (99% of the time :P)
I've always been very interested in tech and the internet as a whole and I have a faint memory of being around 6-7 yrs old sitting on the floor in front of a TV my parents were selling and figuring out how to hook it back up, turning it back on, and then immediately shutting it off since the static frightened me and unplugging everything since I felt like I did something illegal xD As I grew older I became more interested in things like how to mod video games and would make my mom help me download Minecraft texture packs. I may have given the poor Windows 7 family computer 50 types of unknown malware but my mom still considers what I did impressive.
(Both the modding and the.. malware)
When I got older around 10-13ish I remember figuring out how to lightly mod Team Fortress 2 and changing the music that played when you opened the game to Fall Out Boy (I thought I was the coolest person then ok FOB was the shit when you were 12) alongside actually learning a bit of HTML. I don't know what caused me to start learning it, but I remember making a very basic page that just had Gorillaz fan art I found on google images. I used to put center at the start of EVERY line of text to make SURE it was centered. With *no* closing tag o_o terrible, I know.
I dropped it after a while for no particular reason, I just didn't really know what to do with it and there wasn't really a community I knew of to host it on or to share it with. As I got older to where I was about 13-15 I felt a sort of "Isolation" among other people. This was the time "webcore" or "old web" aesthetics started to get back into "fashion" and many people on SNS sites like Tumblr or Twitter were using them in their carrds or about me pages. I had also made carrds but it was just "Because this is what everyone else is doing I guess" and it fulfilled this strange want I had in me I later now realize was the desire to create something like a website, but being too limited in carrds formatting and also a strange "social pressure".
Around this time I had a horrible falling out with a group of people I considered my friends, and later was bullied in a fanbase of a special interest no less. I sort of had a "drifting" period where I just sort of felt melanchonic and empty, not really knowing what to do with my hobbies since I feel quite empty when I don't have something to constantly occupy myself with. I had joined a mutuals Danganronpa server and someone posted the website Gundham as a sort of "lol guys look its run by Gundham" and I became enamored with it. Something about the way the site was presented, the fact it was made by (digital) hand, just everything about it had struck a cord with me. And then I decided to create my own on August 4th, 2021 :]
The site has gone through many revisions and I highly doubt anyone remembers it from when it first started. But it was very "carrd esq" since I was still under this sort of weird "social group pressure" and not wanting to seem "problematic" or "a bad person". So it was quite limited looking and didn't really have much info apart from a about, DNI, and a very horrible looking art page. As time went on and I emersed myself more in Neocities circles I redid the site to what many probably remember it as. And then just recently it went under what will likely be the "last" remodel for a very long time since I've learned so much within a year of coding ;w;
Not many people know this, but just a little secret for you.. ;D I actually have used Neocities before! Thats right! I had a old website named "theinfirmary" from around November 2019 or 2020. ...Don't get your hopes up though, it was nothing special and just had a picture of Thrax from Osmosis Jones on it.
I think if you hovered over him it'd say he was hot or something- typical Beau behavior
I wouldn't call myself a "mindless follower" but I would say I'm not at all confrontational. When I wake up everyday I know I'll be spending all my energy dedicated to One Specific Task (Like I can only clean or only draw for that day. No more or I'll get overwhelmed and tired) and I'm sure as hell not gonna spend it with petty arguments. But anyway back to my sob story- Most of my "compliance" in the spaces I used to hang in were mostly just from me not wanting to lose my "friends" or any social standing I had. I'm well aware this only really happens on sites like Twitter or Tumblr but it doesn't undermine what I had gone through or my own journey with my anxiety. I wouldn't say I'm a "victim" or anything like that but just someone very vulnreable mentally. Having a sort of "domino" affect of bad friend groups that now I finally feel like I've climbed out of that hole is very relieving and freeing.
Creating my site has helped my mental health in various ways I'd say, between getting to show the world my (somewhat embarassing) creations and thoughts I also don't feel like I'm being "monitored" or have some type of mob think mentality following me everywhere. Because its my site damn it! I'll put as many glittery anime girls on it as I please.
My original URL was blaisedebeste, the name of a Ace Attorney character who is my absoloute fave. My second URL was gyakutenkenji2, which is mostly what people remember me under. Its the name of the second investigations game in the Ace Attorney series, and also my fave! Whilst my current URL is boothworldindustries. Off of a creepypasta of the same name. ...Also one of my faves!
Apart from website making, like I said earlier, I prefer to show the things I enjoy on my shrine pages in their own dedicated little world. :] But in general I'd say I enjoy a little bit of every genre when it comes to movies or music. I enjoy more slice of life casual shows like Lucky Star, Umaru Chan, or Ouran Host Club. I find them quite relaxing and actually fell asleep while watching Lucky Star more then I'd like to admit, its just very calming! xD I have a fondness for slice of life shows since I'm a rather horrible hermit irl and don't really like going places.
I also enjoy more fantasy based series such as Bayonetta or Madoka Magica. I don't know what genre these shows/games would be put into but Team Fortress 2, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Moral Orel, and Ace Attorney are also defininte faves of mine. I have a habit for diving down anime streaming websites like Crunchyroll or Funimation and trying to find more obscure OVAs or shows. As for music, I just enjoy whatever my ears do. But if I had to say some bands/artists I listen to more then others, it'd be Malice Mizer, Rob Zombie, Mindless Self Indulgence, Mitski, and The Hoosiers. You can find out more on my music page!
If its not obvious already, I have the tism (Gasp) but I guess its not *too* surprising if you've visited some of my shrine pages before this one. (Ungasp) I have about 4 special interests!
They all pass the blunt around in my head for which one I'm fixated on, however Team Fortress 2 I have the exact date I started playing, being Decemeber 4th, 2016. As the day I heard of it I immediately went home and downloaded it. I also love Vocaloid, which I've technically been into since around 2015-2016. When I was young, I used to furiously download every demo on the 3ds store, and Project Mirai ended up being one of them! Despite that, I got more into Vocaloid around 2018-2019, as the first 2 songs I really listened to were Corpse Dance by Kikuo and World Is Mine by Ryo. But around 2019 I got Project Diva F2nd for my PS3, and have been asborbed in it ever since! Splatoon had actually beaten TF2 in being my first shooter game by one year. I had played the original WiiU ver at its very launch day and played the ever living hell out of it, and recently got back into it this year. Whilst my more "recent" special interest would be Ace Attorney, that I played in 2020. You can find out more in-depth things about these by visiting my shrines page!
Something I should mention about my interests I feel is somewhat important.. When I get into something, I *must* see *everything* it has to offer. I cannot handle only watching 1 season of a series that has 5 seasons and 2 movies, or playing games out of order. If you try and get me into a series, I apologize if I seem resistant! Its not because I don't exactly care, its just that I have to make a committment to something. I sometimes even avoid certain video games if they have achievements that are nearly impossible to unlock. I get unreasonably competitive about games that are meant to be relaxing, like Stardew Valley, and make a list of things I need to do immediately or all the secret items I need to find.
Funnily enough, the reason my mother never thought I was autistic growing up was because she was also autistic. So I always grew up in a quiet home with no real sensory issues xD It was only until I started to be around other people I realized the way I acted was "abnormal" or things that never bothered me before, suddenly started to badly. Although I apparently take after my mom in her mannerisms, I've been told I have my dads stubborn-ness. Speaking of him, I'm sure you're wondering why I haven't mentioned him really! Truth is, we just don't share alot of interests. Hes always been into cars and well.. I don't like going outside very much anymore ;w; Although we do watch those "itasha" car videos together since I can point out most of the characters on the car.
I often have a hard time with empathy or even sympathy, usually I can't connect with someone if theres no shared interest between us (Well, I'm sure most people would say that about anyone, but I'm just referring to special interests) As cruel as it sounds, usually when people vent to me or I hear something bad, I just feel.. "What am I meant to do exactly? What is there to gain by telling me/people this?" I'm not saying I don't care, I just. Don't fully understand or really grasp certain things I guess. Which I guess also bleeds into how I treat myself, I don't really like talking about my own problems or worries I have. I've been trying to learn to be more sympathetic as I get older
As a young child I remember always feeling a strange attachment to robotic or "otherworldly" things such as fairies or mermaids. I remember always wanting to become something "other" then human and used to watch those "how 2 becom mermaid tootoorall 100% workz" videos and remember trying to teach myself how to fly. I won't be That Guy and say I'm "not like other" people or actually possess some type of crazy power, but I always did believe that for some reason I could sense those types of things better. Or maybe I just need more friends
I would say being homeschooled is both a blessing and a curse. On one hand I have autism and social anxiety and do not do well in public spaces and become fatigue if I over do things, and it let me harness alot of my "abilities" in art and coding. But on the other it made me a bit of a social shut-in xD I would much rather spend all day inside with my cats then being in reality.
If I had to say what some of my flaws are, its that my emotions are very black and white. I either feel nothing at all or I become overly emotional at things people consider "useless" or "unreasonable". I wouldn't say I have "hyper empathy" and generally lack empathy as a matter of fact. To be honest, the only few things I feel unconditional emotions for are children, animals, or robots. I also let my anxiety get the better of me and get afraid to take risks or to talk to people :,] I have a knack for perfectionism and refuse to show anything if its not 100% complete and perfect.
I would say I'm rather blunt, if I don't like somebody or disagree with something I have a hard time hiding it.
According to my parents I have a hard time hiding my reactions to things, if I hear something weird my face instantly changes and apparently is very comedic xD I don't really understand alot of strange social hierarchies so often I feel weirdly isolated from certain groups for not being "respectful" to someone I barely know. I've been told I can give very honest advice but I feel I have a hard time comforting people on alot of things :,] I'd self describe myself as spiteful in a "Cat that knocks over water whilst staring at you" way. But according to my mom I'm "very nice" D:< My world plans for domination will show everyone!
I have a rather strange relationship with kin. To put simply to "kin" something (In my regards to it, this might not be for everyone) is to feel, well, kin. Relation or connection to something. I partially do it more spirtually (Since I believe in past lives) and also just because I see character with glasses n go "omg me". Often times people on SNS sites have watered down the meaning to just mean "I like this fictional character" and although I do kin alot from fiction, kin is not (And should not) be limited to just that. Although I don't have much of a gripe with people who "kin for fun" so long they don't try and act like they know everything or treat people who kin differently as "weirdos" or "too into it".ID
Computerkin, robotkin, virtual-assistantkin
BJDkin, ghostkin, octolingkin